Haha. I'm home in Texas again. Welcomed back by the scorching heat and constant run of AC and fans.
It's funny when you spend a lot of time looking forward to an event and then just as quickly it passes. I feel so odd now that it's passed. Time marches on, I guess... and I have to go back to life as usual! But I now have a lot more renewed self-assurance and a feeling that I can do anything if I focus and put my mind to it!
I certainly missed my cat Marco. XD We made up and I paid lots of attention to him. But after yesterday afternoon he seems to go back to his life-as-usual routine. Pets are funny and easily thrown and assured.
Just like Scott said... I need to reevaluate what I want to do and focus. Take on as many jobs as I can. Find a way to work with people, etc. I'm going to try my best. We still have San Japan to look forward to!
I just have to stop getting so distracted by Hetalia fandom. It eats my brain and Himaruya is like a secret fangirl. He's just as bad as we are.

Oh, here's a stupid list of my favorite pairings in Hetalia, in case anyone is curious! (who could possibly be curious? =x=)
Germany x N. Italy (Veneziano) OF COURSE. I'm also the type that thinks Holy Roman Empire = Germany. <3 Long lost love!! It's FATE~!! etc.
America x England Why wouldn't I love these two? Tsundere England who is still angsting over America leaving him all those years ago. Who still wants to be America's friend, while America kind of doesn't understand or is pretending not to. So amusing and cute! It makes England look so cute and lovelorn.
Spain x S.Italy (Romano) Ah.. this one is cute!! They obviously like each other but Romano is too stupidly stubborn to admit anything at all.
Uh.. other ships I like... Lithuania x Poland, Sweden x Finland, I also like America x Japan. And I kinda like the one sided Prussia > Hungary, since we know Hungary x Austria is canon. Though Prussia liked to spy on half-naked Hungary. Poor girl. XD Personally I think Prussia is hotter than Austria. ^^; I love the energetic types! She should've gone for Prussia!! Haha. Who cares about history! O_O lawl. I'm ok. O_O;

This week has been fun.

I visited with Scott Rosema who is an amazing professional comicbook artist. He's so SO freaking nice and personable. I mean.. I was amazed. I run into too many so-so struggling artists who think they're hot shit 'cause they can draw decently. Scott reminds me that one should always be humble and kind no matter how good you are. He never refuses a job. He is so inspirational. He took the time to look through my portfolio and was nice and complimented me.. and geez.. one of the best things to ever happen to me art-wise. To have someone who works for big name comic companies, does gorgeous inkwork and to say nice things about my stuff. It's like meeting a really nice rockstar. XD He drew Gavriel (my original character.) for me for free. ;o; He's amazing! He's a friend of Jamie's family. Haha. I'm so lucky.

Yesterday we were in Kalamazoo and went to an art museum. That was fun. I really do enjoy browsing artwork and looking at all sorts of eras in art. I think it's easy to like only certain types of art, but I think it's good to try to see aspects of art you appreciate in different styles.

Tomorrow I have to pack up all my stuff, since I leave Saturday morning. It'll be sad to leave here, but I have to say that I do love my town. The forests are gorgeous here, but home is far more comfortable. XD You don't have to drive around so much to access stuff... and there's a wider variety of food back home. XD

I'm kinda tired from Jafax so I'll make this short... It was fun to be there. we made so-so on actual profits. We could've done better, but it was a slow year. I don't really like sleeping in hotels. XD

I'm still in Michigan this week. :B

( other hetalia cosplay pics )

I'm currently enduring/enjoying Jafax 14, which ends tomorrow. It's been fun, but like with any con, it's tiring. I'm looking forward to being back at Jam's house. XD

( cosplay pics behind cut )

It's been fun~

So, I'm in Michigan! The Great Lakes State!
I'd never flown before, so that was pretty exciting. It's like riding a bus, pretty much. Except you're in the air and they feed you a little. Also take-offs and landings are the most exciting part.
Michigan is pretty well covered in Great Lakes... so yesterday I went to visit Lake Michigan. The weather here is hot and humid by the lake. And Jamie and I thought we'd go to the lake... possibly for a swim. but no. The lake hated us and decided to be freezing cold despite the hot weather. So we didn't swim. Instead we went to a local Chinese place in St Joseph and met the rudest douche bag kids in that town. A table of kids who thought they were hilarious by yelling for their check and waving frantically and laughing, etc. Just really being quite lovely in general.
I've never seen people being that asshole-ish before in a restaurant. At least not in my town. I felt sorry for the people who worked there.

But really, overall my experience here has been very nice. It's kinda exciting being in a small town. And it's like there's only ONE grocery store.. and it's SMALL. Haha. I don't know.. I'm kind of an idiot and used to living in a city so stuff like that amazes me.



The wildlife and forests here are pretty and not like where I live, so of course I'm soaking in that aspect of life here. I'm enjoying being a tourist here.

Sooo I totally visited the old TRHQ board, which arknorth keeps in pristine condition. And I really got to thinking about all the people I keep in touch with still (and those I've forgotten) who I met through such a silly fandom as Pokemon & Team Rocket.
So I'm compiling a list of places/links that these old screennames can be watched and kept in touch with.
The List

Now my memory is pretty bad and I wasn't able to make a huge list (I've only worked on it like an hour and I gotta sleep soon...) but if you happen to have any other names and links, I'd appreciate it. <3 and if I got your screenname wrong, let me know.

In other news, I'm gonna be up in that big oven mitt state known as Michigan for two weeks. Chillaxing with my best friend jammerlea and attending Jafax. Let's hope I survive the wolverine state. I'll be posting from there and taking pics and other stupid touristy things. It'll be awesome. I leave Sunday morning.

Decided to dump a bunch of art here so I could crosspost it later to the hetalia comm.

Warning: This post contains all males. XD (no explicit BL though)

( click the cut for art dump~! )

Dear guys... how to get popular with otaku girls and make them fangirl you:
Like yaoi and claim to be straight.

(Or at least pretend to like that stuff.)

Haha. You must truly be a sensitive male then!!! OF COURSE YOU ARE! May I bear your children?

Well I've been unusually busy at work these past few weeks. Add to that the ever approaching JUNE trip. Exciting!

There's also a teacher interested in publishing a story of hers and she wants me to illustrate it in comic form. This is a really cool opportunity! Unfortunately I also have to get ready to sell things at a con. But I guess doing this thing that might get my worked published makes me more interested in it. o_o

I don't know what to say beyond that except that I hope I don't overload myself with work. :3

I pretty much loafed around today. I'd been working a few days and today is one day off and then I work more days in a row, so I guess I really wanted to loaf.
Pretty soon (monday) I'll talk with one of the managers and go on "contingency" so I can do all the summer things I want to do and still have a place to work... because they wouldn't give me the vacation I requested back in Nov./Dec. *sigh*
Anyhoo... I really would like to improve on art in general. A lot of times I feel "not good enough"... Buuut I tend to hide that a lot. XD I try not to think about how shitty my art is compared to people with greater skill. And I end up wanting to be better. So in a way seeing people who are better drives me to want to improve. XD But on the other hand I feel like my stuff is crap. o_o Soooo... I guess that's how everyone views their own art.
I probably shouldn't whine about this publicly. XD And besides no one reads this journal anyhow. XD
I guess I wonder if I'll ever do anything good with my art. But then again, how can I ever do anything good if I'm not hardworking?
I wonder what the secret is to being a good worker.

An Axis Powers Hetalia meme (that I randomly found on DeviantArt...
( Which Nation-tan are you most like? )

Ganked from aardwulf, koobine, and jammerlea etc!

Fan Meme
1. Do you remember your first ever thing you were fannish about as a wee one?
I don't know if I was a huge fan, but I liked Carebears a lot. I was fannish about Michael Jackson as a kid, and would cry if I couldn't see his videos. (wtf)

2. What fandom was your first (fan fic) reading fandom?
Pokemon. YES.

3. Are you very monofannish or a fickle fannish butterfly?
Um, I think time makes everyone a bit fickle. You may love something now, but eventually as time passes you may find something else. Of course a few things hold fond memories. XD I'm hoping Zoids will be a long-time thing for me.

4. Did you ever feel really fannish and obsessed about a tv show/movie/book, etc. but without having the desire to write/read fan fic?
I think as I've gotten older the desire to write fan fics at all has waned. I don't bother. XD The most I wrote for was Pokemon and it was lame Team Rocket romance crap.


5. Did you ever have a fandom that was totally ruined for you by canon and/or fandom politics?
Haha. I don't know. I liked Harry Potter a bit, but everyone takes it so serious. I try not to get TOO involved in fandoms. It always ends up ruined, especially in anime/manga, when the anime/manga comes stateside and then you're fighting with 14/15 year olds over characters you like, etc.

6. Where were you fannishly in 2003?
Apparently I liked Bleach at the time but I still liked Outlaw Star. I'd RP Outlaw Star storylines with a friend. (how embarrassing...)


7. Where were you fannishly in 2005?
Apparently I was too busy doing original work... I can't remember what I was into. I'm gonna guess Zoids and Ouran High School Host Club.

Where am I now?
Still a zoids fan and newly into Hetalia. <3 Germany x Italy FTW!

ETA: Also been a fan of: Venture Bros. Also LONG time fan of MST3K. I've been a fan of that since I was a little kid. :3 (and I still keep up-to-date on the cast and crew of that show.)

Okay... so I just saw the Twilight movie. Sorry to say this, but what the hell was that pile of crap about? Sparkly vampires who jump high and move really fast. Bella and Edward fall in love for no real reason. It just happens.
When the movie first came to theaters I had a few co-workers ask me about it. If I had read the books or saw the movie. I was like "No. Not interested." Some of them were fine with that, but there was one who was like "Why? You don't like reading?" No. NO! Just because I don't like a poorly written book (I've read excerpts) doesn't mean I don't like reading. I told her. "No.. I do read sometimes. I've read Harry Potter." And she says "Oh. I wouldn't read that." With a look of disgust. Haha. Harry Potter is not the best writing, but it's fairly decent compared to Twilight. And yes, HP has a lot of flaws. There were things about the series I didn't like. I didn't care much for the series ending. But in my opinion, Twilight is a poorly written fantasy series.
Not to mention that most of the fans at work are not the target audience. They're like 20-40 year olds. D: Glossing over picture books with EDWARD!!! in them. Edward just feels compelled to be with Bella because he loves the scent of her blood!!! <3 How sexy is that?
I'm glad the rest of the world hasn't caught this Twilight fever.

I've been a bit busy and also distracted. Wtf. I usually don't go to Gaia Online... but this past week... oh my god. I've been there far too many times playing all the mindless Gaia games and Easter events. So horrible. So I have time-waster's guilt. I mean, I'm pretty good at procrastinating to begin with, but using Gaia makes it worse.

That being said, Jam and I plan to open a small shop there for Gaia Gold. Midnight Crescent Art Shop. And usually I'd be like "what the hell am I doing? I have other things to do!" But Jam will be doing the linework and I'll be coloring only. And since we're splitting the chores, it shouldn't be too hard. And if I get bored of coloring we might switch roles.

Not much else has been going on save for finishing up real-life commissions.
I might, in the future, be looking for a new job, since I'll be "on-call" at Macy's during the summer. If anyone has some neato ideas let me know.

I went to Mizuumi-con this Saturday. It's just a small con held at a university in town for one day. Attendance was about 1400! Not bad for a small one day con. :3
It was a lot of fun. I ran out of L buttons pretty quickly. And buttons in general. I'll have to do better about that next time. Shame on me for being understocked.

I love seeing some people I recognize. Forgive me, too, if I don't recognize everyone. XD But it's really really fun to see people over the years come back and ask for commissions or show me their art. I love it. It really makes me glad to have come to the cons.

I always feel a bit bad when I don't have the certain character already drawn. But if anyone happens to read this and has a request, it's ok to let me know. XD I might end up drawing a few other things for San Japan in August. :3 I'll try to stock a lot more than I expect. Since the cons seem to trend to grow over time. ^^

I have about four commissions, which is a GOOD number. I was afraid to take on a lot. Which is kinda sad. I don't mean to discourage people... but I don't want to disappoint people either when it takes me a while to do 'em. Especially since each drawing takes a lot of hours. =_=;;; I do want to do my best, after all.

I met some really nice fellow artists. I want to see them again at San Japan for sure. :3

Unfortunately towards the end I had a migraine headache and was kind of grouchy. I'll do better next time and bring some medication.

Also: YAY for fellow Star Ocean lovers. <3

Well this past week has been a blur. And now Mizuumi-Con is coming up this Saturday and I feel under-prepared. Craaaaaap. It's only ONE DAY, but I feel like I haven't done ENOUGH to prepare. XD Meanwhile I'm sure I should really be more worried about the other cons I have yet to go to this year.
I finally booked my plane tickets for JAFAX this year. I really wanna get something nice for Jam's parents because they will be allowing me to stay there and eating their food for when I'm in Michigan. Heheh. I've never really depended on someone else's kindness so much (aside from my parents) so I'm a bit nervous about that. Also flying over there in general, as it'll be my first airplane trip ever. Two stops on the trip to add more confusion and stress to the day. :3

But back to the CONness at hand... I feel so ill prepared. D: I have little customized keychains, buttons, and I'll be doing a few commissions as well as selling some old prints. Bleh. At least this will give me a taste of the con vibe for this year. XD
Not to mention I haven't phoned my friend yet who is supposed to go with me. XD I told her like a month ago. *horrible* I'll have to remind her again since it's THIS SATURDAY. Ahhhh. Gotta make a trip to kinko's sometime, too. =_= stress stress stress.

From the depths of hell... aka LJ... comes a meme. No one knows who they were or where they came from...

( let's pretend I didn't do this... )

Going through some of my old files, while trying to find a template I created for button-making, I ran across an image one of my old online buddies did. She would mostly focus on drawing shirtless muscular men. That's all well and good, but it ended up being the only thing she was able to draw. This was bad because she wanted to be an artist.
( More rambling behind the cut... )

This week Jam and I are kind of focusing on getting ready for the upcoming cons this summer. I started up a PHPBB board to test (It's art related! O_O) Other than that not much has been different, except for me sneaking off to play Star Ocean Second Evolution on the side. I can't help it. ;_;

Sometimes I wish I could gather the knowledge of the internet to know what would sell best at a con. Even though I know I can sell stuff (since I have in the past) I still get that feeling of "am I even good enough to sell art? ;_;" I think this is kind of a natural response. =_=;

I also tend to think my journal bores everyone. D:

art related rant.

Okay, I know a few of the people who view this journal are "furries" or like to draw animals a lot. That's fine. I think, however, the one thing that bugs me is the concept of "I draw animals because I can't draw humans." And I know there are a few people who read my journal who are guilty of saying this. And I don't hate on you. I'm more an incredulous "Why not learn? What's so hard about it?"

I'm not particularly good at either, but I do attempt to draw it. I think the one good thing I was taught in high school art (and some college) was observation as a key to understanding how to draw something. And it just frustrates me... the idea that someone is like "well, I can't draw it! So oh well. Dogs are cuter anyway!" I enjoy drawing humans a lot, but I will put the effort into drawing a dog, cat, etc. I just don't find it a valid excuse.

And I really understand when someone is like "why do you draw anime? it's shit. Draw realistic!" Well the truth is I can draw realistically. I choose not to because I enjoy Japanese cartoon influence in my drawings. That being said, I spent a good few years of my youth doing life drawing and still life drawings. It's a conscious choice to draw in a certain way. Not a "I draw this way because that's all I know how to do. ;_;" excuse.

But then, I'm the type who gets pissy when I see people asking for half-assed "drawing tutorials" in certain styles who don't want to actually learn to observe from life or at least read or take some classes in traditional art. Yes, it's more "boring" than FUN furry/anime/comic art, but it'll help you in the long run.

I'm not saying these things because I think I'm good at drawing. I'm saying these things because drawing in general is an ongoing struggle and a learning process that takes years to get decent at. Throwing your hands up in the air and giving up because "it's hard" is kinda stupid. If you have interest in it, why not try your best or at least give a difficult thing a shot, rather than wallow in in a stagnant pool of your own mediocrity.

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

The letter P was handed to my by the wonderfully gracious jammerlea.

My Five that start with the Letter P!

First a few P songs that I like.
Röyksopp - Poor Leno (soothing)
Ladytron - Playgirl (repetitive in a nice way.)
Tv on The Radio - Playhouses (whoot! TV On The Radio!)
Radiohead - Pearly (I used to love this song a LOT when I first heard it. It's on a single.)
Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus (Heheh. I can't help but like this song.)

And here's 5 of Japanese music. Just because I wanted to.
Kiyommy + Seiya - Pink Rose (DDR/Beatmania song. :x)
Y&Co. - POODLE (Beatmania)
Asian Kung-Fu Generation - Powder Snow
Tommy heavenly6 - Pray (Gintama song)
ROUND TABLE feat. Nino - Puzzle (Welcome to the NHK song)

A ZIP file from megaupload of all those songs (because the other links may end up not working.

Lemme know if you want a letter. Spread the good vibes and music, etc.